


Not okay

by Beef_jerk_me



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Color!Au, M/M, NSFW, Nerd!Arin, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Soulmate AU, Stoner!Dan - Freeform, bad boy! Dan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:10:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6429448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beef_jerk_me/pseuds/Beef_jerk_me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan moves to a new town and discovers he has a soulmate. He hates the idea, but maybe he will grow accustomed to it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New School

Transferring into a new school was always tough for anyone. But it was especially if you moved around a lot, and for Daniel Avidan, this was no different. He hated making new friends, learning new places, memorizing the route to get home and he especially hated the new school he went to; they all would patronize him and act like he was fucking stupid. The tall man sighed as his mom dropped him off on his first day and he faced the building, anxiety rising along with his apathy; it was already going to be a piece of shit few weeks, but he wasn’t gonna be there for long so why did it matter if he tried hard or not?

At times like this Dan wished he could text his friend Suzy, but he really wasn’t in the mood to hear “Maybe you’ll find your soul mate this time.” and blah blah fucking blah. Legend says when you find the person you’re destined to be with you’ll see in color instead of seeing in the bullshit black and white; but out of more than 7 billion people, Dan didn’t think that would ever happen, especially to someone like him.

The skinny man looked around as he entered the school, eyeing the paper in his hand which had his class schedule. “Homeroom G203.” Alright he just had to finagle his way to his homeroom, that was his objective of the hour. He hoisted his feet forward and looked around for the room, getting lost a few times and almost raged, tempting to quit and just skip because who the hell needs to attend homeroom anyway? Why didn’t they show him the room anyway? 

As he approached the room his chest felt heavy and his stomach dropped, the first day jitters still got him every time and that always killed him. Dan gripped the knob and he took a deep breath, walking in and being stared at by, well, pretty much everyone. Here we go again, he thought as he walked through the middle of the room, keeping his head down and hating the fact his skinny jeans and eyeliner were drawing so much attention, like come the fuck on. Slowly the students resumed to throwing paper balls at each other and calling each other names. 

Dan sighed and made his way to his desk, but not until he tripped over someone else’s foot, falling face  
first on the floor earning a few giggles from the other students.

“Oh shit man. A-Are you okay?” The voice shook, coming closer until Dan felt a hand on his shoulder, feeling his body calm down and his soul set a flame.

“I’m fine I’m fine.” The older man shook his head flinching a bit and moving away from the person’s touch

“You sure? You fell pretty hard.” The voice was a man’s voice but it was sweet and drenched with concern. 

His shoulder was tingly and his body still felt hot, the singer grabbed the person’s desk and hoisted himself up and noticed what was cascaded on there. Anime sketches, K-Pop lyrics, Sailor Moon quotes, Japan paraphernalia..a LOT of Japan paraphernalia..who was this kid? Dan stood up straight and dusted himself off, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. What a way to make a first impression on the first day of school right? Fuck it he wasn’t gonna be there for long anyway so Dan just shrugged it off and turned around and looked at the man who’s foot he tripped over—who caused all of this. Dan’s face heated up and his chest tightened up.

He was the same height as him, wore a Sailor Moon shirt and a simple pair of Jeans, had a blonde streak through his hair, facial hair on his jaw, beautiful brown eyes and he had a smile that could light up his world.

And it did. 

Dan’s vision suddenly lit up and grey’s were replaced with blue’s and red’s, black was replaced with gold and orange and he could finally SEE for the first time in his life, he was enchanted by the man in front of him, and something in him cracked, the hard exterior that he had for so long was broken by someone he just met. He stood there, staring at the man in front of him, his jaw slightly a jar and his hands shaking.

“My name is Arin, nice to meet you.” Arin smiled, reaching his hand out to touch Dan’s cheek, cupping the skin gently which left Dan paralyzed.

“Danny.” He simply said, pushing the other's hand away. 

“Looks like we're soulmates man, we can jerk it to each other forever! Cmon man don't look so serious!” Arin was beaming, smiling wide but crossing his arms across his chest; he didn't get why Dan was so enthusiastic and stoic 

Dan didn’t want any part of this and he didn’t want someone to depend on, this was all new to him-- this burning desire to take Arin into his arms, to protect him, to open himself up completely; it was all so new and his eyes reflected it, causing him to cry. Dan walked back over to his desk and sat down, laying his head on the wood and not moving until the bell rang, there was so much to process and so little time and he didn’t know what to do with it. Arin frowned at this but he understood that not everyone was so opened to having a soul mate so he simply left Danny alone, looking back at him every so often.

The bell rang for first period, and Arin got up, putting a piece of paper with his phone number on it in Danny’s bag before he left and sighing. Danny got up not long after and hugged himself, this was defiantly going to be a long day, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it but he knew he wasn’t happy. 

Arin.

Arin..

That name rang over and over in his head until he felt sick in his stomach, it almost sounded like poetry to him, it was scary how much he liked it. He needed to tell Suzy about today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna ask me things or get to know me? My tumblr is   
> https://beef-jerk-me.tumblr.com/  
> My kik is also: Spadelock  
> c:


	2. Color

Later that night, Arin returned home to an empty home; his mother and father were out on business and his brother was with his girlfriend so the only one accompanying him tonight would be the silence around him. Nights like this used to make the man feel lonely, worthless and even useless; but this time was different somehow, this time he needed the silence, he needed time to focus and process everything that happened.

He was a part of two whole beings, conjoined into one- Holy shit, fuck was it beautiful; The sensation, the tones of things around him- he felt like he could breathe again. The world was completely different, and he had to take it all in at once in fear of it suddenly going away, he was born again and he had to do something about his new found happiness, his new liberation from sadness, he felt like a new person with this sense of determination, what was this feeling?

Seeing the way the autumn leaves fell, how the overcast sun laminated the sky just right, how red the roses were, what people's eyes looked like. This was all new, and he needed to take it in somehow, find someway to deal with it. 

Arin took off his backpack and walked up the stairs to his room, taking in the site of it all. He smiled to himself and walked to his desk, taking out his sketchbook then flipping through the art carefully—trying not to harm the pages. He frowned, it all seemed so lifeless and he couldn’t stand the suffocation he felt in his chest, the lack of color he saw, so he did what any ‘rational’ person would do-- he destroyed everything he hated, and by fucking god did it feel good.

He tore everything out of his sketchbook, he ripped pages from his walls, until eventually everything was bare and he could start anew. A fresh start, with the gift Danny gave him.

Danny..

That name felt like drugs to his system and he was an addict; he was already in love with this person, he felt it deep within, it wasn’t smart, he had JUST met him, but he wanted to know everything about this person; What his favorite music was, how he took his coffee in the morning, if he drank coffee, what his passion in life was..everything. Nothing about this situation felt wrong and that’s what Arin loved the most, it was that passion that fueled his desires. The younger man walked back over to his desk and he drew, drew until his fingers went numb, until his heart was filled of the void that he felt for so damn long. He drew everything he could think of; but at the end of his session, he only ended up drawing pictures of Dan, it was weird how a complete stranger captivated his mind and drew out everything else.

Arin’s mother raised him on stories of soul mates, he loved them and he still did. Arin’s parents are each other soul mates and it was always an inspiration of his especially to see how much they loved each other even after 20 years of marriage and having two kids. Arin never gave up hope on finding his and he dreamed every night about how bright his life would be, he often thought about what his mate could be, gender never mattered. Thinking about all of this made him smile and chuckle, he was such a cliché, but he was hoping Dan could forgive that. He never had many friends and was often bullied in school for the things he enjoyed, yet he never gave up hope, he figured that if his mom and dad thought he was a good person, nothing else mattered—but sometimes it did drive him mad.

As the younger man finished his last drawing of the night he realized his art needed something—markers of course! So he stood up and grabbed his wallet, walking to the nearest corner store for some, running with his new found inspiration. As he walked he noticed how the moon shined and how the stars glowed in the autumn weather, it was all too beautiful-- even if he never saw Danny again he’d still be grateful for the gift he was given. The gift of color.

The thought's of Dan and what he could be like kept swarming in his head; How old was he? What kind of music was he into? Did he like video games? He wanted to know it all, no stone left untouched. As he grew closer to the corner store he saw a small figured man with wild curly hair, could it be..?

“Dan? Is that you?” Arin called out, feeling his heart and his throat intertwining 

The singer jumped and cursed under his breath, he didn't want to deal with this right now; it was all too much to process, he needed to run, run far away and not deal with this.

“Sup?” He simply said, not looking the artist in the eyes, afraid of what he'd feel.

“Can we go somewhere and talk? Grab some coffee or something?” Arin asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

Dan sighed “Look Arin, just because we're so-..sa-..” The word just wouldn't come out, he mentally kicked himself for looking like such a jackass.

“Soulmates” Arin finished, sort of annoyed.

“That. It doesn't mean we need to hang out..It's dumb, I don't even know you and I'm supposed to love you more than anything? Fuck that, that's not me, I'm not letting something so stupid control me.” Dan spat.

Arin rolled his eyes.

“Listen man, enough with your angsty, teenage bullshit, this is happening and you need to accept it. Stop acting like a child and fucking talk to me, maybe you'll like it after all. I know you wanna be edgy because maybe you weren't loved enough as a child or some shit, but I see right through you.”

Dan stood there, stunned. No one ever talked to him like that, and he kind of liked it.

“Teenage bullshit? How about you stop living a damn fantasy where happy ending's actually happen. This isn't a fanfiction or an anime, get real and stop being so stupid. I can't fall in love with someone I just met, not even met but simply looked at. That's not how love works.”

Arin chuckled, he was a tough one alright.

“Just because I like to live life on a positive note doesn't mean i'm stupid!This isn't something that only happens in stories, Dan. This is happening and it's real. So how about you look at me in the eye and tell me you don't feel ANYTHING for me.” He yelled and stepped closer in Dan's field of vision.

Dan looked up and stared him in the eyes, his heart began to race and his stomach filled with butterflies. He was right, he liked this person and he hated himself for it. Arin was music to him, the way he walked, how his voice growled with anger..fuck he was even witty like him. He was perfect.

“Stay the fuck away from me. I don't need this gay shit in my life.” Dan spat, walking off, feeling himself shake and worry. He didn't want this, he didn't want to depend on anyone for anything; was being your own person such a difficult choice? People do that shit all the time..why was he so different? Arin sighed and turned on his heels, walking towards the store and getting what he came for. He couldn't help but feel his chest tighten up and his legs turn to jelly; hearing Dan yell and be so unhappy; it hurt him, he was aching to try and make him feel better but he knew the singer wouldn't have any of it.

He'd have to try to get through to him somehow, someway.


	3. Heart and Head

His heart and brain were fighting, he was an internal war zone of what to do next, the long haired boy contemplated on the conversation they just had.

“So how about you look at me in the eye and tell me you don't feel _ANYTHING_ for me”

Dan trailed his way home his heart pounding in his rib cage, his mind regretting and not regretting every decision he’s ever made in his life, questioning everything he knew to be true and everything he thought to be irrational bullshit. The Artist made him question what he stood for, this indescribable person he met just a few hours ago; was he in love with him? Did he want to be in love with him? Could Dan really abandon all sense of reason and just take Arin in?

No, fuck that.

He sat down on his bed he barely even remembered walking into his house, let alone his room. He rested his head in his hands, gripping his hair in his hands tightly in frustration as he took a deep breath, trying to calm the chaos He didn’t need anyone else in his life; He had that resolve in his life for as long as he remembered, ever since Avi and Debbie became busy with work and wouldn’t come home to him some days; and bless them, that's what they needed to do in order to give Dan a good life. He had no ill will toward them in the slightest, but it did cause him to grow up a certain way.

His heart was heavy and the more he thought, the more confused he became. And yet, things were also so very clear. This was a new place, a new town and this was a new person whom he could befriend, if all else fails, he could just get to know him. There was no harm in that right? Dan couldn’t doubt the force he felt between the two of them, he couldn’t doubt that strange attraction he felt when their eyes met, almost as if they were having a conversation all on their own, no words just feelings and actions.

The singer stood up and grabbed his backpack, a note falling out of it which tickled his interest. He didn’t write that, did he? No Dan wasn’t that careless, least not on the first day of class.

When Dan opened it, Arin’s number was displayed on the white page, to him that was a sign to get to know this person; The immense amount of sheer giddy and joy he felt from seeing it made it very clear he wanted to at _LEAST_ pick his brain a little. No harm right? Just guys being dudes and a couple of dudes being guys, nothing weird or gay about it.

 _Suck it up Avidan, just text him._  
And that’s what he did.

**“Hey, it’s Dan I'm sorry about earlier I freaked out. I think I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee.”**

Not even minutes later, Dan received a response; wow this guy was good.

**“Sure dude. Name the time and day and I'll be there, totally up to you c:”**

Fuck, even the way he wrote made the elder man’s head fuzzy and confused, but he wanted this and there was no doubt about it. He took a deep breath, ten seconds in and ten seconds out; he wrote back a response and smiled to himself. A complete turnaround, but people change their minds all the time!

**"Whenever, how about tomorrow after school? I really want to get this shit sorted, you feel?"**

He looked around for once and actually took some time appreciating the gift he was given; the ability to really SEE a sight not many could, how bright and wonderful everything was, how undull the world truly was and for once? He was quite hopeful, even if things didn’t work out with Arin, he could still see things in their true form. How his Rush 2112 poster glistened from the lamp in his room, how his carpet actually had a cream color to it, and hell when he looked in the mirror his eyes were more than just a flat surface of black. They were waves of brown and specks of green; things were much more in depth and he could truly see the beauty in the world-

Maybe that was the point with the soul mate gift attached? Was that the moral of love in itself?  
No need to get philosophical here Avidan.

Dan decided to open his window and grab his bong, (who he named Excalibur) and began to take a hit of weed, truly soaking in the view and appreciation of the gift.

 _‘I miss him.’_ His brain thought, over and over.

His constitution was completely vulnerable from the weed he had in his system, he yearned for his person and even though his sober brain couldn’t comprehend it, everything around him reminded the elder of Arin.

This wasn’t good.

Dan shrugged it off and rested his head on his pillow once his session was done and his eyes made their way to the ceiling of his room; unable to stop the war going on his head. It was rejecting all of this but his chest wanted all of this. Fuck, what a day, but tomorrow should be better and hopefully, with rest, he can grasp this better. At least he hoped so for his sake and Arin's.

Rest came difficult for the man that night, but with hopes of a new dawn in the new bright day.


End file.
